Hay Joe
Our current writer in residence Joe Stretch recently appeared at the Guardian Hay Festival fringe, To Hell with Hay. He gives us his own, inimitable account of the experience.
"I travelled to Hay on Wye reassured that I was to read at an event called 'To Hell with Hay on Wye', part of Hay Fringe. On arriving I felt alarmed; the people around me had clearly taken the idea of 'I enjoy reading' far too far.
"I climbed a small hill with a writer friend, Tom Darling (author of Glass People). We ate pork and looked down at the large white tents that host the festival. Cherie Blair is in one of these things, I thought. And I winced.
"Decided to get drunk. Went into a Working Men's Club and an old man told me I 'wasn't meant to be here.' I disagreed and went to the bar.
"I couldn't have survived Hay without alcohol. The town is weird and full of book brothels. The festival stinks of cash and celebrity.
"But I stuck around and had a good time. I regaled an audience with tales of failed sex and cracked a few jokes. It went well. I kissed a girl, slept in a tent, threw up in the morning and visibly swooned over a selection of well-known brands in the presence of Naomi Klein."